Saturday, May 1, 2010

The View's End of the Year Awards

Now that the Predators season has ended, it is time for the View to hand out his much awaited end of the year awards. So without further ado, here they are:

The D.B. Cooper Award

This award goes to the player that took the money and disappeared. The vote on this one was not even close, as this award goes to David Legwand. After signing a new and hefty contract, David had a great December, lighting up the scoreboard and playing like many had thought- and hoped- he would since his days as the second pick in the draft. Unfortunately for Predator fans, David disappeared for much of the remainder of the regular season. A strong playoff series was not enough to wrest this award away from him.

The Obama "Hope and Change" Award

This dubious honor is presented to the Predators power play. Awful for much of the season, it was hoped that this unit would change in the playoffs. Alas, like much of politics today, it was just more of the same old garbage.

The Tiger Woods Scoring Award

This award goes to the player that during this past season scored like Tiger Woods, and I am not necessarily talking about his golf game. Patric Hornqvist, you are a winner! Coming off a less than stellar rookie campaign, the Horn Dog (no, not Tiger) had a breakout year to lead the Predators with 30 goals. The Horn Dog scoring as consistently as Tiger was a very pleasant surprise for the Predators.

The Mark of the Beast Award

Players got religion when they were standing in front of the net and Shea Weber was getting ready to unleash a bomb from the blue line. Broken feet, ankles, and hands were common place when Shea fired the cannon. Even nets were no match for his rocket. The scorch marks on the Olympic twine were proof of the power of his shot. Congratulations, Shea! (Please don't shoot the puck at me!)

The David Copperfield Award

Copperfield is known for his vanishing acts, and for the Predators, the biggest vanishing act occurred in the playoffs by none other than Captain Jason Arnott. The big guy was held scoreless until the last game of the series, when he tallied two goals. Too little and too late.

The Terminator "I'll Be Back" Award

Steve Sullivan, you not only came back, but came back in a big way, playing every game in the regular season for only the second time in your career. This is remarkable considering the extent of your injury and the effort to come back. Yes, I know it is now the second season since you have returned to the ice after being out for so long, but you have the heart of of a champion. Here's to another season of good health.

The Jerry Lee Lewis "Great Balls of Fire" Award

Dennis Grebeshkov, you are a man! Not only did you sustain a severe injury to one of your testicles (I am cringing as I type this) in the first period of a game with the L.A. Kings, but you played two more periods. Later you went to the hospital where you were treated. Just another day at the office, huh? Wow. Just wow!

The Orville and Wilbur Wright Frequent Flyer Award

Awarded to the player that spent lots of time in an airplane shuttling back and forth between Nashville and Milwaukee. Early in the season, Cody Franson was called up, sent back, called up, and sent back again before finally being called up and sticking with the big club. Hope you enjoyed all those free peanuts, Cody.

The "Why Yes, I Am An Expert" Award

Awarded to a player that provided pithy insight and humor during the course of season with his in game comments from the bench, this honor goes to none other than Dan Ellis. Ellis absolutely gave some good commentary sprinkled with comedic comments during the course of the game. He was absolutely the best. Absolutely. (Absolutely count= 3). Andy Sutton would say you are an expert, sir.

The "Hey, We Have A Hockey Team?" Award

A tie for this coveted award goes to David Climer and Joe Biddle of the Tennessean. Both wrote articles during the Predators first round playoff series with Chicago. Before that- zero, zip, nada. For these guys, if it isn't UT or the Titans, it is non-existent. When informed they had to write an article about the Predators, both skulked back to their cubicles and pouted for most of the day. They then called John Glennon and asked if we really had a hockey team.

The "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Due Process" Award

Due process? What's that? So what if it does exist. This award goes to Rusty Lawrence and Steve North of the Nashville Sports Authority, who demanded that the Predators majority owner David Freeman forgo his due process rights in a dispute with the IRS. As award winners, Lawrence and North get free courses at Nashville State in accounting and constitutional law.

The "I Just Make It Up As I Go Along" Award

Goes to no other than the Hockey News "writer" Ken Campbell, who once again trotted out a tired and false meme that the Predators were going to relocate to Kansas City. Never mind that this issue was a non-issue and had no basis in fact. For his efforts, Campbell was awarded a first ever "Hattie" award by the View.

And there you have it, folks. The second annual End of the Season Awards as presented by the View. Hope all of you enjoy them, and if you have suggestions for others, feel free to let me know.


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